For the Last Time Ever!

For the first time ever....
Love surged through her existence
and surfed through her soul
An impossible dream that was never meant to be...
Like a candle in the wind...
Like a tear in the rain...
Washed out by time...
Seperated by a horizon...
Threatened by destiny...
Embraced by darkness...
Bruised by life's tragedies...
A new beginning that came tagged with an end!
For the last time ever....
Love surged through her existence
and surfed through her soul!

FOR THE LAST TIME EVER!

An Hour of Enlightenment

An hour of pure enlightenment!

100s of the emperor penguins start their march together from their usual habitat during a particular period of the year to their traditional breeding ground that is 100s of miles away, with a single goal in mind - to find LOVE - as a result pocreate. Some males are rejected upfront and return home (only to try their luck nxt year :). Some manage to woo their partners, get her into the mood for love(no candle lights required :), and you know the rest! and when the bundle(egg) of joy arrives, starts the painful responsibilty for the dad to protect the egg from the most hostile weather conditions in the planet(-20 or -30 C). They patiently wait for the mothers that had walked back home for food to return in a few months time, provided they make it. For over 4 months the father foregoes food and water, the only motivation being his unborn progeny, tucked between his feet and belly. Once the mother returns with food for the chicks, the fathers walk a few hundred miles back home to break their fast. The chicks are taken care by the moms and are also taught the tricks of survival for a few more months till the dads return. They have a few family moments together before the farewell time and then the parents leave the chicks behind to return home. They may never see each other again. Now its upto the young ones to find their way back home and when they do, they instinctively search and find an opening on the frozen ocean to take their first plunge ever!

The Strength, Determination, Tolerance, Persistence, Resillience & Surviving Skills demonstrated by the penguins can easily put one to shame. They live life like there was no tomorrow, may be there isnt for a few ... however, no matter what - they jus do their thing - No Complaints, No Questions, No Resentment, No Whining whatsoever. They dont read self help books, attend Tony Robbin's seminar, no self affirmations or reassurances are required either...and most importantly they do everything so unconditionally with complete faith & trust in their plan.... So unbelievably true!


Since then, whenever I sorta slip into the "Why me?" mode, though not too often - An image of a penquin with a smirk on his face flashes in my mind..& u guessed it right.... from there I go along the flow with some rejuvinated spirit, trusting the Universal plan for me like never before !

Marche de l'empereur, La - A must watch documentary!

Since then, whenever I sorta slip into the "Why me?" mode, though not too often - An image of a penquin with a smirk on his face flashes in my mind..& u guessed it right.... from there I go along the flow with some rejuvinated spirit, trusting the Universal plan for me like never before !

Since then, whenever I sorta slip into the "Why me?" mode, though not too often - An image of a penquin with a smirk on his face flashes in my mind..& u guessed it right.... from there I go along the flow with some rejuvinated spirit, trusting the Universal plan for me like never before !

Marche de l'empereur, La - A must watch documentary!

Tragedy is not the Word!

A few 100s of our fellow citizens fell victims to the irrational ideologies of some insane fundamentalist, all over again. Yes, Its extremely infuriating. However, we can do nothing but just wish that this disaster never happened and wait for some Godforsaken terrorist group to claim responsibilty for the shameful act, only to insult the value of the lost lives.
No point blaming the system, or complaining about our policies. I admit my helplessness, I cant do much to alter the situation. In the wake of this tragedy, my heartfelt prayers and deepest condolences to all the souls that departed and the ones that are struggling to survive & Hats off to everyone with an undying human spirit thats out there, doing what they can and personally standing by the grief struck, in this moment of crisis. God bless 'em all!

3rd Anniversary Reminiscence

June 30, 2003 should go down in History, as the day that two of the most craziest people on earth met each other to become best buddies in no time. Literally no time!
How would you feel about livin under the same roof for 5 months in a foreign land with someone thatz just a lil more than an acquaintance. Well, for me...it turned out to be just perfect. Arti n I, were in Florida for an OJT (On Job Training – You can also say On a Jolly Trip) and ended up doing some of the craziest things ever and in turn became the closest friends ever.While reminiscing, I can think of a few outrageous things we did that still manages to put a smile on my face. Here i go from the top of my head -
We partied the weekend nights, like there was no tomorrow & depleted our wallets on tequila shots (convinced, ourselves that we weren't drunk enough)
We made some real cool American friends, who drove us around the city all the time including Fairvilla (adult store), where i finally made up my mind on Arti's wedding gift ( A whip of course :) )
We always struck the best deals in town ranging from Tshirts not more than $6 to package passes to all the Disney parks for just $25 :)
We were totally shameless about making our guests cut onions or peel potatoes ( actually we kinda made them offer to help :)
Once we switched between two movie halls every 20 mins or so ( couldn't help cuz the movie that we paid $10 for was not worth a dime :)
Made Rasam and served them in bowls to our American colleagues at a pot luck lunch( made them believe that it was a kind of a South Indian Soup)
A Puertorican friend tried to teach us to do the Salsa, but ended up learning the choreography for Manmadarasa (A hit Tamil koothu song :)
My brave friend visited the graveyard @ midnite for an eerie experience ( only to discover later that our suite itself was built on a grave yard :)
We always overloaded the laundromat to save a few quarters (But was usually compensated with a few pair less sox :)
Hosted quite a number of drink n smoke parties in our non smoking suite (when the hotel in-charge warned us, we extended an impromptu party invitation to him as well :)
Kicked some ass in the training assessments & also managed to get our manager fired (that calls for a totally new blog post :)
Amidst all the fun & chaos, we built a bond thats so special, rare and i also believe, “immortal” ( it cant be any other way). We've been through a series of emotional roller coaster rides together & have stood by each other during the good and not so good times. I read somewhere that each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world in born. How true... My dearest friend, you sure do represent a world in me and your arrival truly marked the birth of a new world in me. Thanks for being there & for being you....:)

On the Edge!

Wish I could list all of 'em down right here right now...but i decide otherwisebecause it will only highlight them in bright red for me, like the exit signs in the movie halls, i cant possibly ignore 'em thereafter, they'll end up staring at my face all the time. EEKS! very undesirable!

Some people just piss me off...i dont even know who exactly I'm talkin about. But that really doesnt matter, cuz the frustration has hit the roof. These people have this uncanny ability to put me off by jus blurting out something that they dontmean, or pretend to be somethingelse that they are not. Worse still is when just the mere thought of the deeds of some, trigger those "ANNOY NOW!" chemicals in my head for no apparent reason and sends my mood for a toss.

It really takes a lot to push me to the edge, but some people know just how to do it. I can put up with boring souls, bored souls, and sometimes even with the whining souls, but my pure turnoffs are those faces that wear a smile to camouflage the malicious intention thatz lurking beneath and also the lips that utter the most insincere words with no real meaning to them whatsoever.

I really dont want to be loading myself with negative emotions, i cant afford it now. So people! Have some some mercy on me, dont say things that you might wanna revoke in the future, dont tell me i mean a lot to you when i dont, dont say that u missed me when u didnt, dont cook up stories to cover the truth, I'm better off with the truth, and

FINALY - Dont tell me that i'd be one tht'd come to your mind, when an asteroid falls through your roof to land on your head!

But all said n done - Though I'm so tired of this crapload, I want to forgive you all, because I beleive that in forgiveness - Healing begins.Not for you but for me!

When i saw you for the first time!

When I saw you for the first time....
Tear drops dribbled down my cheeks
My heart Skipped a beat
Inscrutable chemicals rushed into my skull
My elated nerves Intertwined in joy
While all my senses defied time and space in a flash
Oh my progeny you streched your limbs...for a moment I felt like God!


A tiny inspiration after my 13th week Ultra Sound

All the world's a stage !

There are some that come into your life even before your physical manifestation. You are usually hormonally designed to love them, and most of the time their relentless efforts to give you the best, no matter what, makes you want to love them unconditionally. We hang on to them. till we sorta figure out the person we are; With the most invaluable lessons learnt and priceless love received from them as our two crutches, we move on to explore the purpose of our lives; Some of us choose to be grateful and some us shrug it off as "they just did what they had to do".

There are some people that come into our lives sometimes after, rarely together and sometimes a little before we stepped into existence. To some of us they are friends and sometimes over protective siblings, but to most of us they are both. The special bond that we share with them is almost surreal. They love and support us for what we are and not for what we intend to become. Some of us opt to retain them as lifetime relationships, and some of choose to lose them in the sands of time.

There are some people that come into your life at some point of time, and totally sweep you off your feet. They often make us wonder how we ever existed prior to their arrival. They stay with us through a lot of good and bad...just when we start believing that we can never make it sans them, BOOM they choose to leave. It seems like Apocalypse; However, since everything is a matter of time, it doesnt take too long to realize your take away from the relationship. They would have left behind, some of the most precious memories and lessons that manages to put a lot of things into perspective. They did what they had to do - the purpose was met.

There are some people that come into your life, promising a lifetime of happiness. Only a few of us recognize 'em, a fraction of us take that extra chance of sharing our lives with them and most of us end up searching eternally. Blessed are those, who can find that one person that connects to the very core of their being, and for the rest of us, they remain a quest....

There are yet some that quitely slide into your life and grow on you even without you realizing it. They are right behind you even in the most awkward moment of your life, and you know you can count on them. They influence you, love and support you for no apparent reason or may be their purpose was to make you understand your worth. No matter what it is...I have chosen to be immensely thankful to everyone that had and is playing a part in my life, irrespective of the purpose or the period of time. Likewise, I am also aware of my part and I intend to play it well...:)

Everyone is indispensable, Everything has a purpose...There are lessons everywhere!

Inspiration is Size "S"

“A heartsong doesn't have to be a song in your heart, even talking about love and peace. It can just be your message. It can be your feelings. Some people might even call it a conscience, even though that's not really what it is. It's your message, what you feel you need to do. It's the song in your heart that wants you to help make yourself a better person, and to help other people do the same. Everybody has one. People now are fighting over how our heartsongs are different, but they don't need to be the same”
- Mattie Stepanek, a philosopher, a peacemaker and a 13-year-old poet who lost his battle with muscular dystrophy in March 2004.
But his messages of peace lives on through his series of poems called “Heartsongs,” and continue to inspire millions across the globe, including me.

FOR OUR WORLD – Mattie Stepanek
We need to stop. Just stop. Stop for a moment…
Before anybody says or does anything that may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent. Just silent. Silent for a moment…
Before we forever lose the blessing of songs that grow in our hearts.
We need to notice. Just notice. Notice for a moment…
Before the future slips away into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice…In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be. Just be. Be for a moment…
Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting, Like children and lambs,
never judging or vengeful
Like the judging and vengeful.
And now, let us pray, differently, yet together,
Before there is no earth, no life, no chance for peace.

An excerpt from one of Mattie’s interview in the Oprah Winfrey show
Oprah: What do you know for sure, Mattie?
Mattie: That our attitude is a choice. I believe we can decide to be miserable, to roll ourselves in the dirt and say, 'Hit me again.' But when we do that, we're missing out on so much! I know for sure that while it's great to have role models, we should never try to be anyone but ourselves. I know for sure that when we use words, not bombs, we all get peace. I know for sure that there's something bigger than the here and now—some people call it God, some call it Buddha, some call it Yahweh. I know for sure that we don't need to be afraid of death, because we'll be greeted by something better on the other side. And I know for sure that life is a gift to be treasured—and that we must always live it to the fullest.

Small, frail body, but an incredibly big and strong spirit…that is Mattie…If we could take just one leaf out of his book, wouldn’t we all make better humans…!

Lessons!

You might believe me if I said "You are limited only by your beliefs",
But would you believe me if I said you are where you are in your life only because you haven’t learnt your lesson. Dr. Robin Smith, a famous American psychologist sounds pretty convincing, I must admit.
The basic ideology of her work is that we each are a bundle of often unspoken lessons learned as children and that we're not done growing up until we acknowledge and understand the messages of our upbringing. She also says, each and every life altering experience that we go through is an incomplete lesson, unless you learn and identify with the purpose.
If you come to think about it - Don’t we all often find ourselves in the same detesting situation time and again?
Don’t we all often end up associating with the same kind of abhorrent characters in the professional environment over and over?
And, we also find ourselves falling for the same kind of man/woman, we swore to God that we’d never ever want to deal with again.
The list is endless…..
All these experiences are not just coincidences; they are a reflection of YOU – the “you” that has been molded by the total ignorance or misinterpretations of the life lessons. In short, we have only two choices, we could either be clear about our take-away from each and every experience because all the lessons are tacit in nature or we’ could train ourselves to be at ease about toiling in the same vicious circle.
So now on I would like to live out this theory, not because I want to make sure it works, but because it sure has helped me to view my past life experiences as incomplete lessons, which otherwise would make life difficult to be lived in the “now”.
Now on a lighter note – Due to the queasiness that I’m goin through these days, my husband irons his shirts in a hurry in the mornings just before leaving to work. He usually does such a bad job of it that I threatened him today “If you don’t learn ya lesson, you might end up doing the same for the rest of your life”. Did I tell you that he’s a Quick Learner? :)

Love Confines Love Emancipates

While she still has the memories of those precious days, envelop her heart in vivid colors...

She also remembers how elegantly he drifted away from her

She remembers those excruciatingly agonizing moments of void, while she was trying to make sense of it all....

She remembers how she ransacked the deep crevices of her heart for answers and found none till she redeemed herself from the denial drain!

She put a stop to those interminable days of tears, abomination and self loathe...But she still wonders how she could end up trading her love for embarrassment and eternal hurt...

Since she could never despise him, she forgives, wishes n prays...for him to find love in someone, someday; but she also knows the truth...Noone can ever love him the way she did....not even close!
That thought emancipates her...her incarcerated spirit!

My Mom - My Angel

My Mom - My Angel
When one fateful day all of my posts dissappeared from iland, and when the technical support's efforts went in vain, I thought may be i'd never blog again.
But Im back today to pen my thoughts and feelings. Who could be more inspirational to me than my mother, especially when "Mother's Day" is not too far away and when I am not too far away from being a mom myself :)
Some argue "mothers should be celebrated 365 days a year". Though i agree with that, I also think theres no harm in settin aside a specific day to celebrate the sweetest and the most selfless angel that brought us in to this world.
Where a lot of people that you trust turn out to be backstabbers, hypocrites and liars, Moms are God's way of saying "Dont lose hope"
The often unspoken bond that i feel with my mom is almost magical, that i can hardly begin to understand the hows and whys....
My angel is extremely relentless, selfless, simple, always giving and the most unconditional; There is no way i could repay even a fraction of what she's given me. The priceless lessons of life and love that she has given me in her own subtle style is incomparable. Her maganimous heart is still capable of giving so much more even after all these years of incessant giving. She is truly inspirational in every single sense of it...that i am what i am today because of her. I know im a better daughter cuz of her, better friend cuz of her, better wife cuz of her and i also know that I'd make a great mom and that is only cuz of her!
Its unfortunate that this mother's day i would be some 1000s of miles away from her physically but my love and gratefulness for her will go beyond that distance, to let her know how much i appreciate each and every contribution she has made towards my life.
If i do have another birth, i dont know what or where i wanna be, but i do know one thing for sure, i will not settle for any other person for my mom...she's the best !God bless!